Izaya and the cup genie Shizuo
by CrackonKappacumbers
Summary: In the place of the Ikebukuro it is the city of mystery and enchantment. Kazutano was like "Come and buy." So Izaya went to come up onto the standing shop. He bought a special cup with a long big thing in it. Little did he know that in that cup could grant him 3 wishes, ah yes, Izaya found a cup genie lamp. And that unlucky genie would be none other than Shizuo Heiwaima R&R is luv.


**In the place of the ikebukuro it is the city of mystery and enchantment... **

**Kazutano was like "Come here and buy my shit." ****So Izaya went to come up onto the standing shop a guy had down to the shop guy place from the camel that died from walking not really but it lived and stood up from his toes. **

**He bought a special cup with a long big thing in it.**

** It's not what's in the outside, but the inside. He went to go eat a snack from a machine robot of kappa formers with potatoes. **

**What will be inside the special cup with a long thing in it?**

Once on a day of the valentines day, evil man was walking.

Until suddenly, he approached a vending machine.

"Yes, I shall get a coke and shake it and then spray it in Shizuo's face c:"

Izaya got a coke, and reached for it, but then a big guy in a tiny shop called to Izaya

"Hey you! come buy shit!"

"Ok, boy." Izaya approached the man who had a weird face.

"Oooh, here is my cool invention." The man took out the thing.

"Here, yes! combination lamp, and cucumber tea maker! also makes a million fries and smashes them!"

"Ah, yes I can use this hehehe..." Izaya wanted to buy it.

But, then the man stupidly tapped the invention on the table several times to show off.

"It will not break, it will not-" Then, the thing broke.

"It broke."

"Damn it." Izaya was not amused. Afterwards the man looked through his boxes in his tiny shop and put out a thing box.

"Oooh, wait, look at this. It is the famous dead cabbage. Listen." The man opened it a little bit, and did a raspberry secretly.

"Ah, still good. Heheheh.." The guy didn't have very good idea's.

"Yeah, I'm leaving I am going to go spray a can at Shizuo ok."

"Wait, don't go I have something super rare." The man then dramatically pulled out a cup.

"Do not judge it's appearance, this cup is quite a super mysterious thing. It doesn't count on what's outside, but inside.

"I'm going."

"Hey, wait this is no normal cup, it has something inside. Maybe."

"Wait a second, what's that long thing there?" Izaya stared at it.

"Oh, I don't know. It's just a long thing."

"It makes me aroused to see it, so I will buy it." Izaya really speaks his mind.

"Good, good, that will be 100 yen."

"Seems a little bit too cheap.. I'll buy it for 300 yen." Izaya was quite a little bit super smart and knew a tiny price can mean really bad things.

"No, buy it for 100 yen, it is not a trick. c:"

"No, I'm buying it for 300 yen and that's final."

"No, you buy it for 100 yen that is final."

"If it's not that, then I'm not buying it at all."

"Yes, fine fine 300 yen there ok go away." Izaya gave the big guy 500 yen, and he gave him the cup.

It was actually true, the 100 yen would get Izaya some bad luck, for a 300 yen is not as bad luck because it is a bigger number.

"Heheh, now to take this home." Izaya walked home, and took it along with him.

Until suddenly, a sline came. (Reference from the hero yoshihiko)

Izaya was staring at the sline, while it was just there looking at him with that nublet smile.

The sline hit him.

"Grrrr." Izaya ouched and dropped the cup, and the slime waddled away with it on his head.

"No, you sline come back with my cup you."

Izaya ran for the sline, and for some reason the slow sline was still ahead of Izaya.

Evil man was getting tired, and would loose his cup. Until suddenly, he remembered he had his coke can.

He shaked it, and let go of it, making it shoot like a rocket.

"Ahhh." The sline got hit directly and was defeated. "Ha take that sline!" Izaya has gained 100 exp.

Video game music came on, and then Izaya gained "cup ?"

"Yay my cup!" Izaya picked up the cup and went to another dark corner of a building thing and started to stare at it.

"Hmm.. yes... the cup.." Izaya then noticed there was something written on the long thing.

"It looks dry.. maybe I have to make it wet so I can see what it says." Kappa questions Izaya's method of "rubbing" the cup.

Izaya leaned forward to the long thing and sucked on it.

The thing was warm when it was inside Izaya's mouth, he moaned a bit when he licked and sucked on the staff.

All of a sudden, magic white stuff came out of the cup, and some other magic things.

"What the fuck." Izaya just looked at the magic and white stuff.

"OOOOAAHHHH" A yellow thing came out of the cup, and broke his foot. He re-arranged his foot and fixed it that way.

'I think.. I think it came.." Izaya licked at the remaining substance on his cheek. 'sweet..'

"I am the yellow genie of the cup what'd you want flea-or master thing..whatever." Shizuo didn't bother anymore.

"Wait, what? why are you even a genie.. Shizu-chan..." Izaya questioned his situation

"Well, I was eating square kind cheese and picked up a cup, and then the cheese was actually alive for some reason and sucked me into the cup, and so the cheese put magic and stuff in the cup and now I'm here. After some random guy wakes me up from my cup, I grant them three wishes and the cheese releases the spell, wish away so I can go back to normal and punch you."

Shizuo Heiwajima was a cup genie. Bounded by the rules of the genie he must now grant Izaya three wishes in order to be freed from the cup.

What he didn't know was that Izaya picked up his cup and .. did a little before wishing service for him.. Not like Izaya will ever know.. right?

"Wait, wait wait, so I can get, any three wishes I want?" Izaya smirked hoping it was, but of course it wasn't. He stroked Shizuo's cheek.

"Ah, nu. I can't kill people, and I can't bring people back from the dead."

Shizuo tried to bite his hand away. Izaya just made a tiger growl noise from his throat. "Feisty one aren't you." Shizuo huffed.

"Ok, I wish that you were in love with me" Izaya went into Shizuo's personal space.

"Oh, and I can't make people fall in love, including me." Shizuo sighed in relief.

"Darn." Izaya was disappointed.

"So, just, just wish for something." Shizuo get starting to get uninterested.

The evil man, Izaya just stood there pondering about his wish. But thought of something else to say.

"What's with the long thing then?" Shizuo flinched.

"Nothing." Shizuo lied.

Deep down, Izaya already knew the answer, but he didn't want to admin just yet. Time to mess with Shizu-chan he thought.

Suddenly, the giant lava from the battle of the cabbage came back to kill people, and burn them in his pit.

"Hehehe I am back the lava." The red thing started burning stuffs on fire, and people ran around in circles.

"You might as well stop that lava thing." Shizuo stared that it rampage. Izaya sighed. 'the poor, misfortunate humans..'

"Hm..." Izaya didn't want to waste his wishes on Shizuo genie, so he tried reverse psychology on him.

"I don't know, your probably not even strong enough to destroy a lava monster." Izaya made a mocking face at Shizuo's direction.

Shizuo made an unamused face.

"I guess I'm going to have to do it myself." Izaya went off but.

Shizuo stopped Izaya. Izaya grinned.

"Psshh, excuse me? did you suck my di- I mean, long thing, did you wake me up, did you bring me here? and now all of a sudden your walking out on me?"

Shizuo started stomping with his big boot foot feet.

"I DON'T THINK SO, NOT RIGHT NOW. YOUR GETTING YOUR WISH'S SO SIT DOWN." Shizuo made this face and yelled.

"Ah ha ha! I got all these MUSCLES." Shizuo showed off, and went to punch the lava.

Of course, Shizuo wouldn't burn because he had the magic toilet magic hand enchantment from his toilet sword shop.

Izaya did a wolf whistle at Shizuo's form. He would be great in bed. Izaya thought about some more R-18 moments while Shizuo fought with the lava.

"Why you thing." The lava lunged at him with his lava shots, but it was no use against the toilet magic. Shizuo punched every shot.

"Prepare to die you!" Shizuo made his last punch, and the lava flew way up to the sky and burned in the sun.

"How do you think of me now? I got all these, MUSCLES." Shizuo flexed.

Izaya judged, but was still thinking about those muscles' tones and how they would be in bed. Izaya licked his lips.

"Hm, pretty good, but now about my three wishes." Izaya sung out. This will be fun.

"Do I hear three? YOU ARE DOWN TO 2 BOY." Shizuo shoved his finger at Izaya's face. Izaya went on and lick it. Shizuo fliched.

"No no no, you did that on your own with your muscles." Izaya smiled evilly and grabbed Shizuo's fingers back and slowly licked them then sucking.

"Damn it, anyways, cast away your wishes, but no more freebies." Shizuo says as he tried not to jump on Izaya , instead he pulled away.

Izaya pouted at the loss. "Ok, I wish for a lifetime of fatty tuna." Izaya started with something derpy.

"Yeah, yeah." Shizuo clapped his hands, and a giant pile of fatty tuna surrounded him.

"Hehehe, yes." But then, he noticed a building with no door, and wanted to go inside.

"Shizuo, protect my tuna, and that's not a wish." Izaya's logic, protect the tuna fish. Shizuo judged.

"Fine." Shizuo guarded his fatty tuna.

"Good boy."

"Shut up."

"Love you too."

"No"

"Not."

"Flea."

"Protozoan"

"Just go."

As Izaya went in the building, he entered a room where he saw a green block in the corner.

Izaya wanted to pick it up and put it somewhere else, because it was kinda irritating.

But then it grew big, as big as the building and tried to eat Izaya.

Izaya ran to his fatty tuna, and alerted Shizuo.

"SHIZUO THERE'S A BLOCK THING, THROW THE TUNA AT IT."

"I'm counting that as a wish."

"Hell no." Izaya and Shizuo picked them up, and threw them rapidly at the blocks mouth, it kept eating them.

"This isn't gonna work..." Shizuo wasn't sure about this.

"Yes, it is. Just keep throwing the fatty tuna." They kept throwing and throwing, until the cube started to blow up a little.

"It's working!" As they did it again and again, it finally blew up. Although, since the green block was made out of dust, it got into Izaya's nose, and he passed out, about to die from all the dust, since Izaya was allergic to dust, especially green dust.

"Damn it Izaya, now it'll take even longer to take this genie thing off." Shizuo then encountered Kadota.

"Shizuo.. why are you a genie.." Kadota silently judged his form.

"Don't ask, could you help get Izaya back to consciousness?"

"I'm not a doctor, but I do have someone with me that is one." Kadota was leading Shinra to the store for some baby powder.

"Why do you wanna save him anyway?"

"I have to grant him three wishes and then I'm free." Shizuo sighed.

"Well, that sucks. Shinra, Shizuo needs help." Potatoe Shinra hopped down from Kadota's shoulder.

Shinra hopped onto Izaya, and checked him.

"Yeah, he's gonna die." Shinra's explanation though.

"Gee, thanks." Shizuo had to do it for himself.

"Ok, Izaya, I can't help you out twice, you gotta make the wish yourself, say, genie, I wish you saved my life, come on Izaya."

Shizuo shaked him, and straighten him, but he went back down. "God dammit." Shizuo sighed. If Izaya died he would be stuck like this forever.

"I'll take that as a yes. WOOO WOOOO." Shizuo transformed into a parasite thing, and went into Izaya's mouth.

"Ew, agh, this better be worth it." Shizuo dug through his nose system and fought off the tiny dust with his blue ball chain guns.

"AHHHHHHHHHH." Shizuo shot and shot, until he cleared off every one of them.

Shizuo then got out of Izaya's body, and went back to his genie self.

Izaya awoke, coughing a bit.

"Ok, Izaya your down to your last wish."

"Wait, what?" Izaya was unamused at this.

"Hey, I saved you, at least be happy for that." Shizuo huff in his tsudere mode as he crossed his arms and looked the other way.

Shinra got back up on Kadota's shoulder.

"Well, we're done here. See you around when your normal again, Shizuo."

They both left.

"Now then... I can cast my wish now." Izaya smirked.

"Yeah, just do it already." Shizuo may as well deal with this, it WAS the last one and then he would be free and kill him later.

"I wish you... were my bitch." He smiled with an evil glint.

"Wat." Shizuo poofed, and was back to normal. The cup then exploded and Shizuo was looking strange. Like lovey-dovey love strange.

"Oooh, Izaya, baby." Shizuo's low voice hummed into Izaya's eyedrums.

"Hehehe. yes." Izaya was pleased, he dived down to violate Shizuo's mouth with the strange glint in his eye and a grin of victory.

Someone's getting laid tonight. c:

-cut scene-

And so, Izaya and Shizuo lived happily, well, almost happily having sex, and they all were happy.

Although, Kappa didn't approve they were like this forever because Shizuo was a cup genie and kappas did not approve of genies.

So after the sex, he summoned Yoshihiko Buddha kappa and he used his Buddha beam to erase the stuff that happened between Shizuo and Izaya.

**The end c:**

**sex bonus scene in sequel**


End file.
